First off, I am not going to chew your head off.

So let’s get started:

1. I would not stay on this site for even 5 seconds. It is dark, bloody and looks like a cartoon. That is before I even get a chance to read that you are calling me stupid. I have already made up my mind NOT to listen much less buy from you.

2. I am at the yellow “push” button and I am wondering who you are calling a twit.

3. Now you are telling me you have a secret that is going to change my life. But I would not stay on your site long enough to find that out.

4. Here you are insulting a sitting American President. Are you insane? I voted for this man and even if I didn’t, I would not tolerate insults to an American President. I am an American and proud of it. This is highly insulting.

5. The rehased crap part is really good and so are the graphics that drive home that point.

6. The language does not flow smoothly and there are typo and grammar errors that do not appear to be part of the point you are trying to make about not being stupid.

7. Un-stipidze, twit pond…… far too many insults.

8. Your check has no credibility and your car looks like a hot wheels toy.

9. Babe comment with the house - unnecessary.

10. Now I am at the pic of the pill bottle. This is the first time that you have told me you are going to tell me about internet marketing. I am 1/2 way through your sales letter.

11. More insults. Now they are very tacky. I cannot imagine anyone reading this entire sales letter.

12. When you list the anti stupid cure, #1 has a spelling error. Also,what is asti and Why would I take it?

13. Finally made it to the end. It is at the very end that you finally tell me it is an ebook. I don’t see the price at all on the page.

14. The pictures with the two women in bikini’s tell me you can only be talking to men who understand and appreciate your humor.

If you want me to buy from you.
Don’t insult me and you don’t know me. Don’t assume I think this style of humor is funny.
As a women , I have no desire to see brains splattered on a page.
I am not at all clear what is in this for me?
What have you done or accomplished that I should listen to you?
Consider changing the color scheme with more blue and less black and brown.
Give me a headline that will draw me in to read what you have to say. Skip the insults, they are not working.

Hope this helps you. I would love to see what changes you make.